San Francisco city officials looking to ban Mcdonald’s happy meals unless they meet the new city nutrition standards. The City says these toys lure kids into a fantasy world of make believe and a never ending downward spiral of eating things they like, resulting in obesity, general laziness, possibly later on in life a 3-5 year period of non-stop video game playing and temporary happiness.
San Francisco Supervisor Eric Mar, who started this idea of the “Food Justice Movement” and has said to be a “big dumb-bell poopy head” by some local 3rd graders, told us,
My fifth-grade daughter is in the age group in which rates of obesity have quadrupled. You can’t expect a parent to be able to control their children when it comes to these highly addictive plastic toys that turn these poor children into walking zombie like robots lusting after their favorite Hello Kitty characters like rabid vampires at a haight street hippie drum circle. Their little minds are so brainwashed by these corporations that that they don’t even realize that with out proper excercise you could gain weight. I can’t even get my daughter do her homework or even take a shower unless she is rewarded with a small toy from the latest Pixar movie.
He said with tears forming in his eyes, “In today’s society we also can’t expect other parents to control or take care of their kids, so the only solution is take out the toys and let them gorge on meals that result in almost certain death or my suggestion, you can only have a toy if you eat a nice balanced meal of vegetables and fruit. Either way“, he says, “we will make sure with the backing of the great state of California that they will not enjoy themselves or have fun in any way. We can’t take the chance that parents will make the right decisions, so the only solution is to take away the possibility of eating anything unhealthy“.
The one question we asked him was if they also plan to make it illegal to sell cigarettes in San Francisco. He told as in a laughing voice as he blew smoke in our faces, “Are you freakin’ nuts?! These things are awesome and if I collect another 1700 camel points I get the free Camel Joe ashtray!!!”
